I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize