do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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