he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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