just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize