Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
