I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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