Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
