Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
