Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
