Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
