She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
