My friends, they love my intelligence
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize