OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
