You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
