he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
