i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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