No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
