tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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