Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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