can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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