Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
