Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
