I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
honey bunches of taint.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize