so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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