I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
