i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
