Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize