Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
