You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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