kristin has been a bad kristin
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
