I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
