did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
