Got a toothbrush?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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