Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
