OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
