that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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