He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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