tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
