Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
