Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
zippers are such a cool invention
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
