shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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