true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
