Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize