Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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