the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
