a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize