She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize