can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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