What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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