And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
