GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize