her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize