he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
