I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We are all done wearing pants today
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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