I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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