false alarm. still invincible.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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