Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
