No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
