if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Fuck appropriateness.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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