how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
