he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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