People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
